Now I'm in a good mood. Beware that.

Things I love about Melbourne:

• The way the sun ricochets off the tall buildings and makes weird lighting effects. Like that fake nighttime light in old, old movies, where it's massively spotlit, but still supposed to be midnight. Strange and eerie like that. Just there, on the pavement, for everyone to appreciate.
  
• Boys in delightfully officious school uniforms...
  
• ...holding hands with girls in equally flamboyant uniforms.
  
• Other giggling schoolgirls out of uniform and in droves. Hell, I have to either love 'em or start slaughtering 'em en masse. And I only just got here; I don't want to be run out of town just yet.

Berra Bloggers: At Jen's party, you told me about some Melbourne blogger being barred from a cafe for drinking his chai wrong, or something. What was the cafe? I want to start patronising it. Because, y'know, I'm like that.