putting the guts back in

GIRL
Diana Evans
called Dee
since May 25th, 1980
terrorising inner-city Melbourne
consuming flat whites
producing words, hers and other people's
contact dee [at] viscerate [dot] com
SITE
viscerate.com
consisting of personal reflections
photography by Amy Q
archives here

Saturday, October 13, 2001

I am a sick little girl. My head appears to have been magically transformed into a gunk-producing factory. Woohoo! Gross-out factor!

Meanwhile, Tomb Raider was fan-fucking-tastic! What the hell are all those people who didn't like it whinging about? What's not to like in this movie? The action is so much fun, and it was very slick. They might actually have had a touch too much plot for a no-brainer action flick, but they handled it well, and it didn't drag. Not even the info-dump was too long or boring. (Pointed look towards The Matrix: learn, guys.) And Angeline Jolie was absolutely sodding perfect.

In the opening action sequence, I grinned at every move that came straight from the game (and boy, there were a lot of them). When she did that big backflip and whipped out her guns in mid-air, I couldn't help myself saying "Yes!". It was beautiful.

The whole thing was just so much damn fun. I don't think I stopped grinning for a single second. Great turn from everyone's best friend Rimmer as the butler dude. And when they mentioned the Illuminati, once again I couldn't prevent a small "Rah!". Several friends turned to grin at me at that point.

Final judgement: Get off your high horse and enjoy the damn movie, will you? I found it impossible not to.

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Friday, October 12, 2001

In my German dictionary, 'orgasm' and 'orgy' are right beside each other. Well, I thought it was amusing.

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Wednesday, October 10, 2001

So, Dungeons and Dragons, hey? Well, not exactly the movie of the decade, is it? Or even the year, and it might even be pushing it for week depending on how good Tomb Raider turns out to be on Friday.

Redeeming features:

Justin Whalin. He played Ridley. He previously played the second Jimmy from Lois and Clark. He hasn't changed a bit, which is scary in about five-six years. I find him very attractive in an almost platonic way. In any case, he made watching the movie much more bearable, because I could just look at that beautifully arranged hair and not have to pay too much attention to anything else. His performance wasn't too awful, except for when he tried to show deep emotion. Stick to playing the Harrison-Ford-cardbord character, Justy-my-boy, and leave the real acting to people like Joaquin Phoenix who don't look as pretty, but do it better.
Damoder, or whatever his name was. He got some good lines. Once he stopped speaking at the speed of sap and started having fun. Particular favourites: "Are you joking?" and variations on that theme. The lovely vein-work up the sides of his neck and across his conveniently bald head were also quite interesting. Oh, and he'd been raiding J²'s make-up collection. I recognised that blue lipstick, Mister!

But I cringed every time the quite talented Thora Birch (you saw her in American Beauty) opened her mouth. Her Childlike Empress was quite simply the most stupid character I think I've ever come across. I've certainly never witnessed a character with more elaborate costumes, and less useful things to say. I'm sure Jeremy Irons had the time of his life, though. I certainly hope he did, and that he got well paid.

The CGI was good. The opening, in particular, was quite breath-taking, and for a few minutes I was actually hopeful about the movie. The dragon battle later was also quite spectacular.

But DOUG, it was the game. It was the game up, down, left, right and sideways. Witness the importance of having your main character being a fighter-thief, everyone. (This movie displays very adequately most of the reasons I don't play D&D.) It must have some sort of pain-killers implanted in the credits, though, because once it was over, I found myself thinking that it hadn't actually been that bad, really. Luckily, I remembered the four separate incidents where I literally cringed with my whole body, and was able to stay clear-headed about the whole experience.

Two hours of silliness. Laugh it up, fuzzball. And you'll need a little masochism to really enjoy this one.

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Tuesday, October 09, 2001

Option 1: leave some of the pasta for tomorrow. Option 2: eat it all like the little glutton I am.

Dr Jim (you can always tell my lecturers, because they have 'Dr' in front of their names. You can tell how much respect I have for them by the fact that what comes after the 'Dr' is always short and familiar. Actually, I like 'em a lot. The ones I don't like never get mentioned here) told me that I wrote a good paper on Machiavelli. I refrained from doing the happy dance of joy in his office. Instead, I smiled and thanked him, got the Nietzsche references I'd gone to get in the first place, and did the happy dance outside in the corridor instead.

Now, I just hope 'a good paper' is over 80. Over 90 would be a new personal record, but if I'd done that, I think he would have been talking about getting it published.

In the course of writing this, I've eaten almost all of the pasta. There isn't really enough to keep. I'll just have to finish it all, now.

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I read something yesterday, I can't remember where, about removing the World Trade Centre from movies, and not just upcoming movies, but recalling DVDs and such to take it out.

Because maybe, if we tell people it never existed, we can pretend that the USA, the pinnacle of Western civilisation, was never so vulnerable, was never so horribly and easily laid low.

Well said, Japan.

I'm trying to summon up some emotion, some opinion, some anything regarding the strikes on Afghanistan, but I can't. I honestly can't care. I can just watch, observe, take note. My brain refuses to deal with it. Maybe that's the most intelligent option, after all.

I saw a plover chasing a crow today. Tearing across the sky, the big black crow twice the size of its pursuer, but still running for all it was worth. The plover was screaming its head off.

I found this symbolic, anyway.

11:52 AM - link to this - (0) comments

Monday, October 08, 2001

"The 13th Fairy".

Just read Sleeping Beauty in German ("Dornröschen") and this little phrase stuck in my head. If you remember the story (and who doesn't?), you'll remember that the 13th fairy was the one who got left out of the party because the King only had twelve gold plates and, let's face it, probably didn't like her anyway, otherwise he could have just borrowed another plate from the neighbours or something, right? So yeah, then she shows up at the party anyway, pissed off, and curses our dear little heroine to die horribly at the age of 15 (or 16, or whenever) by skewering herself on a spindle (pretty creative, that). At which point that meddling 12th fairy steps up and mitigates the curse. I maintain the scheming wench just wanted to insert her own choice of Prince into the royal line, but that's a story for another time.

That 13th fairy. She's a symbol, right? Of things and people that get left out just because. That you think of last. Of the people who don't immediately fit into the round hole, and hence are left to dwell outside the lines. Left to make their own rules and live life as they see fit because if the rules have rejected them, they can reject the rules.

Maybe I'm taking this a bit far, but "The 13th Fairy" is a great phrase and I want a project to make it the title of. I'll park it in the back of my mind and ruminate a little more, I think. If you get any good ideas, let me know, ja?

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Dee's top 5 drool-worthy voices:

Sean Connery. Duh. I'd hire him just to sit in the corner and read the phone book out loud.
Michael Wincott. Voice like velvet sifted through gravel. Mrowr! (You may have witnessed his brilliance in The Three Musketeers or perhaps The Crow. I admit to nearly falling off my chair during some lines in the latter.)
Mike Patton. Of Faith No More and Fantomas. Growl for me, big boy.
Mel Gibson of recent years. Something's happened to his voice in the last couple of years and suddenly I find it very interesting indeed. I could listen to him narrating The Patriot all day.
There are a few contendors for this spot, but creeping in just under the wire is Michael Douglas. No, I don't have a thing for guys named 'Michael'. Another older man with good vocals. This bears looking into, I think.

10:22 AM - link to this - (0) comments

This made me laugh. Thank you, J^e.

"When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in 0 gravity. To combat this problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion developing a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to over 300C.

The Russians used a pencil."

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Sunday, October 07, 2001

Casablanca is the best movie ever made in the history of anything. Discuss.

Actually, don't discuss. Just realise it, internalise it, live it.

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I don't like the word 'naked'. It will not appear in the international language, come the revolution.

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