dee - viscerate.com

GIRL
Diana Evans
called Dee
since May 25th, 1980
terrorising inner-city Melbourne
consuming flat whites
producing words, hers and other people's
contact dee [at] viscerate [dot] com

SITE
viscerate.com
consisting of personal reflections
photography by Amy Q
archives here

Saturday, August 11, 2001

(Beware: self-absorbed ranting ahead.)

Annoyed. Annoyed, annoyed, annoyed. Pissed off that I feel bad for being angry for putting up with other people's shit.

God, I am so PMSing. Not that this invalidates my reaction or anything. Because I have had it up to here with this sort of crap and anyone else would have started getting narked a lot sooner than me.

Dee is a placid creature. Dee is laid back. Dee is relaxed. Dee does not cry, scream or bitch at random. This is not any great feat of willpower on my part, I'm just like that. Things don't annoy me like they do other people. They don't get to me.

Except sometimes.

In patches and drabs I feel fragile, and I want to be looked after. Amazingly, recently, this seems to correspond with the only times when it cannot be the case, and in every other instance, the attention just irritates me. It passes in seconds, and I am me again.

I don't hate it. I mildly wish it didn't happen. But it does, and it is me, and I can deal with it because I am me.

And it's times like this I wish I wasn't always the strong, reasonable, calm one.

Because it let's people get fucking used to taking advantage of me. Well, you can all just fuck off. Just for a little while. Oh, wouldn't that be lovely? Set up the barricades, no one allowed past. Except the Male, and Je, because they are no burden on me, they are no tax on my resources, they are only support and strength.

(Thanks guys.)

But it can't happen. I can't shut everyone out. So I'll just shut out the annoying ones. The ones that take too much and give too little. Just until I can handle dealing with them again.

(One final note before I end this epic: Funny how all of these 'them' I'm talking about shutting out are female. Once again proving to me why I hang out with guys more than I do with girls. Every male of my acquaintance is (at least towards me) more considerate, more... friendly.)

Fuck. Fuck 'em all. I can't be fucking bothered caring tonight.

7:07 PM - link to this - (0) comments

Make a Golden Calf! Get a son and sacrifice him to the God who gave him to you! Grow boils like magic! All in the Old Testament Choose Your Own Adventure Game! (Now with extra pottage.)

Seriously, I just spent too long playing this and giggling. I'd better go and have breakfast...

(Link from the interesting obsidianbutterfly.net.)

9:29 AM - link to this - (0) comments

Friday, August 10, 2001

Am I going (more) nuts, or did there used to be a really popular font called Violet? It was all cursive, with bits blocked out. Seems like once upon a time it was everywhere, getting underfoot and generally causing a nuisance, and now that I want to download it, I can't find it anywhere. Pesky littler critter. Can anyone assist?

10:32 PM - link to this - (0) comments

An afternoon spent browsing the wonders of Elfwood now that it is back up and running (thank DOUG).

How beautiful is the work of Anke Eissmann? Some of the most beautiful renditions of Tolkien that I've ever seen. Most Tolkien art tends to be a bit drear, a little like his work; all grand sweeps without much touching detail. But this is different, and very welcoming.

5:26 PM - link to this - (0) comments

Wednesday, August 08, 2001

Dee goes goth.
This is actually quite an old picture, taken at least a month ago now, possibly more.
Meghan might remember talking to me as I was getting ready for this outing, about how I was wearing a hat with a veil, and going as a sort of 1930s widow. The hat was definitely the highlight. It was Je's, and she put the veil on for me as well, since I am absolutely hopeless with a needle.

I really adored this outfit, actually. I felt good in it, and enjoyed being out in it, even if it did involve shoes with a good four inches of heels that made walking all the way home quite an effort. Best part was the reaction I got from one guy: "I hear the funeral service was lovely." How could I not grin?

7:58 PM - link to this - (0) comments

Tuesday, August 07, 2001

Example of why the Male rocks my socks so hard:
haiku is tricky,
and yet i have mastered it.
am i not the best?

5:13 PM - link to this - (0) comments

Hear ye, hear ye. Because Dee is (Maude) bored (and dangerous to gnaw... ten points and a lot of respect), she is making zany proclamations. Henceforward...
... Dee is now an acronym. It stands for Destroyer of Everything Evil. And by Evil, I mean anything covered under the banners of Stupidity, Moronity, Ditwittedness, Fanaticism, Uneducatedness and Law Students (just for Je).
... A will be referred to as the Male. This is just because A is too easily misunderstood in a sentence.
... All of the Worthy folk shall be referred to as Comrade. Since we must unite together against the nefarious Evils aforementioned. We must be strong!
... My college will be referred to as the Mothership. Unworthy residents shall be known as Drones. Come the Revolution, they shall be reprogrammed into Killer Robots of Doom, and then we shall dress them up in pink lace and point and laugh at them.

12:08 PM - link to this - (0) comments

Seen on the way back from lectures this morning:
  1. A Peewee stalking a Magpie. Every so often, it took off, bombed the magpie, and went back to its spot a few peewee steps behind again. The magpie mostly ignored it. Of course, it could, since the magpie was twice the size of the other bird.
  2. A duck doing something inexplicable, holding its wings down around its feet. I thought maybe it had cold legs, until I walked past and saw tiny bundles of fluff huddled underneath it. Ducklings, born too early into cold since it isn't even spring yet, being sheltered underneath their mother. Very clever, and quite sweet. I still don't like ducks, though. They're evil MoFos.
  3. A guy speeding past me full tilt on his bike, but without his hands on the handlebars. Rather, they were in his pockets. I shared the sentiment. It's not really that cold, but the bloody wind...

11:24 AM - link to this - (0) comments

Monday, August 06, 2001

From the Vampire: the Masquerade FAQs:
"I imagine you probably have to wear a cape or some sort of makeup, for what it's worth, because I see a lot of that at LARPs. Exactly who some "vampire" with a face full of Crow makeup and a velvet cloak thinks he's fooling with his "Masquerade" is a bit sketchy, but it seems to be part of the thing. Then again, dressing in those boss costumes is part of the appeal. Just remember, enthusiasts of Victoriana, that hunters are trained to look for anachronisms. Don't blame me when the Society of Leopold burns down your havens at one in the afternoon. I warned you. ;)"
Yeah, I'm a nerd, or something. Role-playing humour makes me laugh. Quite a lot.

10:55 AM - link to this - (0) comments

Today, according to the Lonely Planet desk calendar that my brother got me for Christmas, I am going to Edinburgh. This is somewhat ironic, I believe, since yesterday I got rained on old-skool-style.

It only rained twice yesterday. When A, J2 and I were walking over to J2's house to play Werewolf, and when we were leaving. Two minutes before we packed our stuff up to go, it started pouring. Buckets. We waited a little, but it showed no signs of letting up, so I set off on foot anyway.

When I reached the halfway point of Maccas, I was sopping wet. My shoes were water-logged, my jeans wet to mid-shin, the front of my overcoat almost dripping. My book in my bag was wet, and I thanked the Librarian Gods that it was a second-hand book I'd bought for $2, and not a good-condition one to start with.

It had stopped raining when I finished my meal, and I walked quickly home. Not quickly enough, however, and I got caught on the far side of campus when it started to rain again. Up went the umbrella, but the storm was not to be so easily thwarted this time. Halfway across campus, it decided that very hard and horizontal was a grand way for rain to be.

I disagree, I have to say. And after struggling home through gale-force winds determined to blow rain right up my nose, umbrella or no, I'm pretty much determined never ever ever to go out in the rain again. Horrible stuff.

So that, in a nutshell, is why I am not going to Edinburgh, no matter what the calendar says.

8:54 AM - link to this - (0) comments