dee - viscerate.com

GIRL
Diana Evans
called Dee
since May 25th, 1980
terrorising inner-city Melbourne
consuming flat whites
producing words, hers and other people's
contact dee [at] viscerate [dot] com

SITE
viscerate.com
consisting of personal reflections
photography by Amy Q
archives here

Saturday, December 09, 2000

I'm a little concerned that I appear to be bleeding without anything actually hurting. Isn't pain supposed to alert me to things like this? Maybe my body's finally gone on strike in protest over that small matter of a permanent diet of garlic bread and milk.

4:51 PM - link to this - (0) comments

I have had an epiphany. It has to do with luggage, specifically, designer air-hostess little bags with wheels and a handle. I'm sure you know the ones. Pertaining to luggage as it does, it's not particularly interesting.

4:33 PM - link to this - (0) comments

My list of least favourite things to do today, in no particular order:
  1. Be rushed off my feet checking in highly talented child performers who make me feel like a bit of a failure.
  2. De-sex an elephant.
  3. Scrub out a mouldy fridge with paper towels.
  4. Have the Bat-phone (work duty mobile phone) screen die on me so I can't read a thing.
One of these things actually didn't have to be done today. Guess which.

4:10 PM - link to this - (0) comments

I now have a double room. I feel so special. A big queen-sized bed with a matress so soft it's like a water bed without involving H2O in any way. This could take some getting used to. Especially since my old bed used to win prizes for being the hardest in college. But I loved it. Slept like a baby on it. And it kept everyone else off the damn thing.

3:34 PM - link to this - (0) comments

Thursday, December 07, 2000

Yeah, sure Shauny. You're little Miss Innocent. How could I have so maligned your character? (Oh, and incidentally, when I was rifling through your archives to find these damning declarations, I also found this link, which I somehow missed the first time round, but which is an absolutely fascinating and spectacularly accurate treatise on the "grotty romance" (as N and I call them). Brilliant!)

7:50 AM - link to this - (0) comments

Wednesday, December 06, 2000

Oh my... swoon city. Just got back from seeing Bootmen - or even better: try here. Damn, this movie was fun. Crap story, of course, and the performances were frankly shocking. But it so beautifully showcased the exquisitely successful mating ritual that is dancing. Jeans-clad Aussies, young, built, sweaty from dancing...

I think I need a cold shower.

What was most amusing about watching it, though, was that Gj who I was watching it with has danced with half the cast. "That big guy," she says, "Nigel, he dropped me, the bastard. I mean, literally dropped me. I've still got the bruise, I'm absolutely certain."

The whole thing was worth it for Adam Garcia's grand entrance on the back of a truck. Ooooh.

Back to that cold shower. Damn, I'm as bad as Shauny! Heh... :-)

4:24 PM - link to this - (0) comments

Tuesday, December 05, 2000

Random shopping for trivia competition prizes. I am so in my element. To whit:Did we do good or did we do good?

3:24 PM - link to this - (0) comments

And speaking of Mel, I'm holding out for the voice of God to sound like Michael Wincott. But I'm guessing she's got it right.

3:21 PM - link to this - (0) comments

All right, this is the most worthy search I've seen in a long time: how to have sex in the shower. Because, you know, you can't just ad lib these delicate matters. Come to think of it, how is this instructing going to work. You'd both have to memorise the complete instructions, because you couldn't very well print out the directions and take them into the shower with you. They'd get soggy and the ink would run. I suppose you could put it in one of those plastic sheet things and then it wouldn't get wet. You could stick it to the wall in an easily seen spot so that you could check from time to time to make sure you're doing it right. But that would really make your guests puzzled, I'm sure.

PS: If you absolutely have to know, I recommend this list of handy tips. Especially pay attention to the last one. That means you, Faye and Tim!

7:46 AM - link to this - (0) comments

Monday, December 04, 2000

Signs to tell me that the generation gap between me and the people two years younger has bitten again:
  1. Who were the Bangles?
  2. Who was She-Ra?
  3. What was the Labyrinth?
  4. Nirvana? Oh yeah, that little band that did that Teen Spirit song. Yeah, they were kinda cool.

2:48 PM - link to this - (0) comments

My computer plays Hearts with the strangest patterns, sometimes. Yesterday, nothing A or I could do would stop them thrashing us in a multitude of cunning or just plain lucky ways. But today, I saw one of the computer players actually lead the King of Spades while the Queen was still out there, and then obviously not go for the full haul.

I'm discussing the intricacies of a computerised card game on my blog. Damn, I need to get a life.

2:31 PM - link to this - (0) comments

Chaos averted: J1, now being in charge of the college's IT issues, decided to clean out the internet connections, assuring us that he would leave connected those that were still in use.

He stuffed up.

But never fear, I grabbed him very quickly and made him plug in my connection again. At knife-point. Then I was able to breathe easily, and do mundane things like eat breakfast.

Yes, my name is Diana and I'm internet-dependent.

10:41 AM - link to this - (0) comments

Sunday, December 03, 2000

Far, far too late, while listening to A's "Who Cares A Lot?", I realised how gorgeously luscious the lead singer of Faith No More is. This is like when I realised at their farewell concert that Crowded House were a really good band. My musical timing is atrocious.

7:05 PM - link to this - (0) comments