dee - viscerate.com

GIRL
Diana Evans
called Dee
since May 25th, 1980
terrorising inner-city Melbourne
consuming flat whites
producing words, hers and other people's
contact dee [at] viscerate [dot] com

SITE
viscerate.com
consisting of personal reflections
photography by Amy Q
archives here

Saturday, September 09, 2000

I've been spending so much time with A recently that now that he's not here it feels like something's missing. No doubt within a week of my holiday I will have accustomed myself to the absence. I'm not sure if I want to. Just one more thing I'm not sure about. Amongst so many, it hardly seems important.

10:12 PM - link to this - (0) comments

Hey Melissa! I don't have any wisdom teeth! How cool am I? After a couple of thousand dollars worth of orthodontics in my early teens, the dentist figured we'd better check on those slippery suckers, and took an X-ray. And what do you know, not hide nor hair of any pesky little wisdom teeth. I feel quite smug about this, all things considered. Not that I really had much to do with it in a conscious sense.

6:55 PM - link to this - (0) comments

A day of decadence and drudgery. Lazing around, revelling in the delightful "The Alchemist" by Paulo Coelho. It's a simple tale, simply told, but it warms the heart. Oh dear, don't I wax rhapsodical.

But somewhere in there I needed to begin tidying up the room. Much junk was summarily evicted from my life. Poor junk. Much other junk was simply moved around the room, so now I have to move it all back before I can go to sleep.

I hate packing.

6:23 PM - link to this - (0) comments

Friday, September 08, 2000

Yes, I know I said (or rather, implied) I was going to go to sleep, but I just had to check my reads before I did, and then I just had to comment on this... you know how it goes.

"Guppy in a handbasket", Tom? (And yes, that is the only part of that post I feel the need to question. My brain works on different frequencies usually, and now... well, I'm surprised I'm even on the same bandwidth as the rest of the world, but I appear to be. It's a miracle, there's no other explanation.)

11:25 PM - link to this - (0) comments

How odd it is to surf randomly to a site and find there the HTML fragment of a ring you created nigh on two years ago now.

How odd to find that that ring now has 191 members.

My innate sense of story-telling requires me to find a third odd occurrence (that word again...) to complete the set, but I shall give it a cheerful if vague two fingers and wander off to find more relaxing pursuits.

10:56 PM - link to this - (0) comments

I have a deep fatigue settling in my bones. Not the tiredness of too little sleep, though that is a contributing factor, but the solidifying drag of too much for too long with too few breaks.

Soul-stumbling, I called it once before.

I feel like I'm sinking through the aether. I will come to rest in Queensland, where the angels will tend me and I will be rejuvenated.

Just a few more days, and a few more tasks.

10:42 PM - link to this - (0) comments

Jono, if you're looking at this, you're a bad, bad boy. Respect my privacy please, if you don't mind.

1:12 PM - link to this - (0) comments

I did it. I redesigned. I had fun too. I think I can live with this for the next month. :-)

1:06 PM - link to this - (0) comments

Thursday, September 07, 2000

There is nothing quite as annoying/amusing as having someone commentate in a David Attenborough voice while you're playing Puzzle Bobble.

I don't know what it is about that game that entrances spectators so much. I mean, I perfectly understand my obsession with playing it, but why do people watch me? I don't get it.

9:35 PM - link to this - (0) comments

The good thing about college is you overhear conversations like:
"She was sitting on his lap the entire evening. She didn't move once."
"Maybe they were having sex."
"I just said she wasn't moving."
"They're only 13. Maybe they don't know you're supposed to move."

The bad thing about college is you overhear conversations like:
"Get out of the shower."
"Why?"
"I'm dying."
"You are?"
"No, I just want you to tell me what you think of this dress."

8:27 PM - link to this - (0) comments

I need a holiday very badly. Oh, what a coincidence! One starts this weekend. Queensland, here I come...

7:54 PM - link to this - (0) comments

It was a depressing day. Overcast from the beginning, and then, disconsolately, apathetically, it began to rain. I puddled my way over to university to hand in my Aufsatz with an umbrella over my head and my cuffs dragging in the mud. I should have worn the boots.

On the way, I passed a crow tearing at the carcass of a duck in the gutter. Feathers were sprayed in the direction of traffic. Hit and run, case closed, your Honour. I thought of American Beauty and wondered if he would find this dead bird so beautiful.

The creek was high and awash with muck, though not so much as it might have been. It rains so frequently these days, things barely have a chance to dry out or build up. Like the world is trying to wash itself clean.

Then I saw the ducklings, little balls of fluff coloured like their parents, gambolling through the grass and tugging at it with tiny beaks. It's hard to be depressed in the presence of ducklings.

7:10 PM - link to this - (0) comments

My room looks like my life exploded in it (not far from the truth, all things considered) and I have to have this all packed up in three days? Help!

10:24 AM - link to this - (0) comments

Would it surprise anyone to know that one of the potential next Popes is apparently declaring that anyone who isn't Catholic is going straight to hell? It certainly doesn't surprise me. In fact, I'm wondering why this hasn't been a part of the official Catholic body of belief thus far.

The only thing that renders me mildly startled is that somehow they've managed to find someone even more conservative than dear old John Paul. Well done, chaps.

9:10 AM - link to this - (0) comments

Wednesday, September 06, 2000

Ich muß denken, daß der Maler Max Ludwig Nansen ein bißchen verrückt ist. Wenn er malt, bewegt sein ganz Körper, aber nicht sein Arm. Er hat ein eingebildete Freund. Er heißt Balthasar und ich glaube, er beeinflußt Max zu viel.
Yeah, I know my German's awful, that's why I'm stopping this farce and going to bed. Or maybe to design, and thence to bed. Ja.

(PS: Anyone who wants to correct the above and send it back to me will earn my undying gratitude... no, really, you will!)

9:41 PM - link to this - (0) comments

Julianne Moore as the new Clarice Starling in Hannibal? Hmm... not bad, I suppose. I have to admit to not being a monstrously huge Jodie Foster fan, but I thought her performance in Silence of the Lambs was very sharp. I appreciate Julianne Moore - she did beautifully in everything I've seen her in (An Ideal Husband, The End of the Affair, Magnolia... search IMDB yourself if you're interested).

You know, when Silence was shown on TV last year, it was edited in the most appalling fashion. Bits cut with little or no care as to whether continuity was preserved or even whether the remainder of the movie made sense. It really detracted from the experience.

Curious point #2: for ages IMDB always came up in German on my computer. Even if I specified I wanted the US or UK version. It was quite amazing. This was before Abe and I reached our agreement, of course, while strange phenomenon were regularly manifesting themselves in my computer as Mr Lincoln struggled for recognition. Poor dear. All he wanted was a bit of attention.

Anyway, I am very much looking forward to Hannibal. Dr Lecter always gives me a delightful chill.

8:36 PM - link to this - (0) comments

I'm actually really glad I'm graduating at the end of next year. I'm having enough difficulty finding points I want to do for next year as it is...

8:24 PM - link to this - (0) comments

So I very much like the design of "Sporatic", but would be much happier if 'sporadic' was spelt correctly. A 'd' in 'window' would be a good thing too.

But kick-ass design.

7:51 PM - link to this - (0) comments

Why do I have to be here in Australia? I would settle for even a moderately generous offer from the Devil for my soul for the opportunity to get my Masters at this place. I think I'm in lurve. (Honours with Dr Mac notwithstanding...)

6:56 PM - link to this - (0) comments

Very bizarre indeed. I, of course, feel the need to follow any link mentioning Henry Rollins. A is obsessed with him. He likes his attitude. His overall approach to life, the universe and everything. Yes, that's right, Henry Rollins is a dolphin.

6:47 PM - link to this - (0) comments

Uncalled-for and totally arbitrary PTerry reference!

Eggs! Eggs! Eggs!

6:37 PM - link to this - (0) comments

I remember, some time in first year, ordering pizza from someone else's room for two giggling boys - J2 and B. You see, they'd been smoking slightly illicit substances, and now had a feverish case of the munchies, but they couldn't stop laughing long enough to order for themselves. I felt like a baby-sitter.

6:25 PM - link to this - (0) comments

I am happy. I am more than happy. I am grinning from ear to ear and bouncing off walls. (Ouch.) I talked to Dr Mac, who I want to be my Honours supervisor in 2002, about the concept. There was much random discussion involving me trying to explain what I'm interested in, then we finally hacked out a rough sort of proposal. After which, he said it sounded extremely interesting and he'd like to supervise.

Two words: Woo! Hoo!

1:39 PM - link to this - (0) comments

If I used the phrase "Page 3 girl" would everyone know what I was talking about? This being directed primarily towards occupants of the USA, who don't have such quality publications as the UK.

The New Zealander this morning had a page 3 girl. Not in the grand tradition, of course, because it is only an Antipodean journal, and could not approach the grandeur of the tabloids of the Motherland. Actually, she was a hockey player. No one ever did manage to explain to me why a hockey player was cuddling a cat in a somewhat see-through costume (the woman was in the costume, not the cat) on page 3. No doubt the editors had a good reason, though.

9:38 AM - link to this - (0) comments

Tuesday, September 05, 2000

You know, I once got told that I couldn't use the word 'fuck' in my journal, because at the time I had a delicate design, and the effect was too incongruous. Shortly after that I changed to stark orange and blue, funkified everything, and swore as much as I liked. I was younger then. At least a year.

While I'm at it: Fax paper. (10 points for obscurity value, this is the big one...)

9:57 PM - link to this - (0) comments

Question: Which does Dee need to do more?
1: Her German Aufsatz/Arabic test/Pol Sci essay work and then pack up her room?
2: Redesign the site?

I mean, I know what I'd rather do, and if I don't redesign now, it's going to be a long, dull holiday at home without my 86MB of junk.

Can't we do both? (1 point)

You have 120 hours. Your time starts now...

8:33 PM - link to this - (0) comments

Hands up all those guys who have a problem with PDAing (Public Display of Affection, for those who don't attend an educational institution). Come on, be honest. Yes, that means you at the back too.

It's quite amazing, really. It's taken A quite a while to become comfortable with the concept of walking around in broad daylight while holding hands. At least, this is the impression I get. Maybe I am entirely mistaken. I don't want to bring it up, though, because he occasionally takes offense at little things I say in curious jest.

But back to the point, which was spurred by the fact that A kissed me quite significantly today, out in the open and everything. It took me a few minutes after we parted ways to realise why I was so startled by this occurrence. (Side note: You'd think someone like me who uses the word 'occurrence' so often would know how to spell the bloody thing without having to look it up every time. Wouldn't you?) It's because it happens so rarely.

And then I realised that most guys I know are like that. Holding hands in a dark movie theatre - no worries. Might even cuddle in the company of mutual friends. But public snogging? Leave off, love!

A heightened sense of social responsibility? Shyness? Not wanting to appear 'wussy'? Who knows.

It's just nice, you know, the PDA. It makes me feel warm inside. Very loved. Special. In front of God and everything. So guys, let loose, just for a few special moments. Do us a favour.

And who knows, we might do you one. ;-)

8:09 PM - link to this - (0) comments

I think, no, I know, I would be a far more frequent reader of SURVIVORblog if the design wasn't too big for my screen. I love the concept, I really do. I think it's fantastic. But there's this nasty left-right scroll bar on my screen. And I'm running an 800x600. Come on, I'm hoi polloi here. Cater to me!

7:56 PM - link to this - (0) comments

The other day when Blogger wasn't working I was going to make an outrageous statement taking any and all goth credibility I may have acquired by recognising "Bela Lugosi's Dead" and damning it by declaring that I didn't like Sisters of Mercy.

But I've changed my mind.

Strange how music grows on you with time and listening. Even Tool has been known to be bearable. Everything except country music. That will never grow on me. No matter what.

6:40 PM - link to this - (0) comments

I have 86MB of Junk. Jee-zus.

2:09 PM - link to this - (0) comments

Ringmasters, far and wide, hear ye, hear ye! Despair not over the Yahoo!ification of Webring! Help is nigh! Hie ye unto RingSurf!

Seriously, it looks just like Webring, except without the insidious presence of the Creeping Death Yahoo.

1:24 PM - link to this - (0) comments

This morning I saw two black swans and a little grey fluffball of a cygnet. It was puddling along in between its elegant parents, looking cheerful and child-like. A day that starts with a smile is sure to be a good one. Or at least better than average.

12:35 PM - link to this - (0) comments

Little annoyance commentary: (LAC?) People who change the formatting of their text with mouseovers. Emboldening, italicising, capitalising. It throws the text alignments completely out of whack and mucks everything about. Bad, bad, BAD! A plague on both your houses and the little dog you rode in on. (Yes, even a doyenne of design can fall into the trap...)

12:25 PM - link to this - (0) comments

GRRRRRAGH!! *smacks Blogger up the side of the head with a large trout*

Meanwhile, though, I suppose Monday wasn't really as awful as I made out. I just spent a lot of time catching up on my role-playing - such sterling gems as Imperial Secrets, which I firmly believe is the best free-form RP of which I have ever had the fortune to partake. And then, of course, I absolutely had to find and read the entirety of Oscar Wilde's "An Ideal Husband" (Hi Drew!), giggling all the way. Previously (on Dawson's Creek) I had visited the library and done some mildly interesting and quite confusing reading for this forthcoming essay, which I managed to wangle an extension for at the lecture that morning. The lecture (on the melodramatic "Spies, Speed, and Cyber-War") also allowed me to make the following observations/quotes which I found highly appealing at the time:
  • "We live in the memory of the past and the anticipation of the future."
  • There is 37 minutes flight time on a ballistic missile from the USSR to the USA.
  • "Counterintelligence produces paranoia."
  • MIGs just look so cool!
As you can see, it was a highly productive lesson.

12:08 PM - link to this - (0) comments

Johnny's been a very bad boy... Go on, you know you need it.

11:35 AM - link to this - (0) comments

Tom Stoppard is exceptionally cool. Plus "The Real Inspector Hound" is much easier to perform than Anarchist, thus explaining at least partly why the Burgmann play was so much better. There's extra enjoyment from watching your friends hamming it up to the extreme. (Not quite EXTREME! with an exclamation mark, but they'd only been practising for a week... give them a break.)

11:20 AM - link to this - (0) comments

Monday, September 04, 2000

Mondays. Don't even talk to me about fucking Mondays.

Sunday was cool. Sunday was fine. Sunday I bummed around, and did reading, and watched the BBC version of Anarchist. I couldn't get into Blogger for some strange reason, but otherwise, it was a good day all in all.

But Mondays. Don't talk to me about Mondays.

I'll tell you about it tomorrow. Unless Tuesdays turn out to be worse than Mondays.

10:55 PM - link to this - (0) comments