dee - viscerate.com

GIRL
Diana Evans
called Dee
since May 25th, 1980
terrorising inner-city Melbourne
consuming flat whites
producing words, hers and other people's
contact dee [at] viscerate [dot] com

SITE
viscerate.com
consisting of personal reflections
photography by Amy Q
archives here

Saturday, August 12, 2000

So I caved to hoi polloi and did that career test thing. I was quite intrigued that my actual career of choice - author - only came up at number two. Yes, the recommended career for me is: Astronaut. Yes, because I want to study physics. That's why I stopped doing it in grade ten.

Other outcomes of note: "Movie Star" showed up at number 11. "Rock Star" at number 16. And rounding out the list at number 25 was "FBI Agent". Ooh yeah, baby!

PS: It says I should vote for Ralph Nader. Who's he?

7:10 PM - link to this - (0) comments

J2 is by far the luckiest boy alive turning 21 on the 18th. I know this because I just bought his communal birthday present. At five bucks a pop, you too can sign on one of his two birthday cards and contribute towards his Brian Froud book, silk tie and three videos (Fifth Element, Blade Runner (Director's Cut, of course) and Princess Bride).

Wish I drew that much of a fundage base on my birthday. But I suppose he is innately more friendly than I am. Probably cuddlier too.

5:09 PM - link to this - (0) comments

You know, I only just realised how staggeringly inane that mob at alkalineshock.com I was whinging about before are. Actually, it's not all of them, it's really just that Tiffanie person.

I was going to have a large whine here about how a lot of blogs are inane, but I realised that none of them were quite as mind-numbingly dull as this one, and hence it deserved a complaint all to itself. I do hope its mother is proud.

9:28 AM - link to this - (0) comments

AIM is our friend...
Me: Dude, you in?
Ry: So very in!
Me: Are you going to have lunch?
Ry: So very in the mood for comestibles!
Me: Coolness. Wanna go shortly, then?
Ry: When do you want to go?
Me: I'll just finish my other conversation, then come and jump all over you. Then we can go for lunch, yes?
Ry: Okay. I'll get undressed and ready.
Me: You do that.
...
Ry: I'm getting cold.
Me: That's what blankets are for.

8:58 AM - link to this - (0) comments

Russell Crowe says: "Three months being cool in Australia is a lifetime in another country. That's as good as it gets."

The boy is wise.

PS: He also said: "The only time I ever get a job in America is when all the other actors are distracted." Personally, I think even Americans occasionally recognise true talent. But I did read something a month ago now talking about how Hollywood is loving Aussie testosterone. The reason given was because American has been bled clean of such wholesome masculinity. Or some nonsense like that.

12:01 AM - link to this - (0) comments

Friday, August 11, 2000

Movies movies movies. What would I do without them? Lead a very much less interesting life, I fear.

Last night: Gladiator. Second time. Still epic. Still excellent. Much has been said about Russell Crowe (and why not, the man's fantastic - and an Aussie) but I think Joaquin Phoenix deserves more praise from that movie. Even more so this time his acting and character captivated me far more than the blood-spattered hero of the piece. But overall, I adored the themes explored in this movie. The idea of Rome as the mob (so true). The insane authority figure (alas, also so true). (PS: I also continually admire Crowe's integrity in not having a sex scene.)

Tonight: An Ideal Husband. Also second time. Soooo delightful. Rupert Everett is exceptionally swoon-worthy. Not so much in his devastating dark looks (pause for author to faint) but in his urbane wit and smooth delivery. He is perfectly charming. But enough about him. Every performance weaves together seamlessly to create a smooth trifle of perfection. But honestly, what else should we expect from Wilde? I can't see this movie without thinking of Drew: "To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance." Right, my dear? ;-)

11:53 PM - link to this - (0) comments

"Hi there,
My name is Cindy Love and you've just found my dirty little secret... "

Oh, I can't wait.

11:32 PM - link to this - (0) comments

Even if you didn't already know where I lived, you could immediately guess when I tell you that I just saw a man walking down the corridor in full tux plus sombrero.

Sometimes I just love the randomness of college.

6:14 PM - link to this - (0) comments

Gbook.nu is back up. I like it better than the UGB, so I'm going back to it. The announcement endeth here.

5:32 PM - link to this - (0) comments

Nothing makes me funky like listening to Harry Connick Jr.

Ooh yeah...

5:12 PM - link to this - (0) comments

Thepiratequeen.net has got me humming G&S now. You know, this has been known to lead to breakdowns in lesser mortals. But I am (not quite) The Greatest Man Who Ever Lived! (5 points for obscurity value - for full marks you have to name the actual Greatest Man.)

"Here's a first-rate opportunity,
To get married with impunity,
and indulge in the felicity
of unbounded domesticity.
You shall quickly be parsonified,
conjugally matrimonified,
by a doctor of divinity
who is located in the vicinity."

How can you not think WS Gilbert is worthy of worship?

12:30 PM - link to this - (0) comments

Oh my DOUG! I've got an FBI file! (and I'm not even an American citizen... isn't that a little out of their jurisdiction?)

PS: Yes, I know, I know, what sort of idiot do you think I am?

12:13 PM - link to this - (0) comments

Thursday, August 10, 2000

Actually, "I am surrounded by morons" is getting to be something of a catch-cry. In true internet-junkie fashion, I believe I shall acronym-ise it for future use. Take note: IASBM (aka: Inter-aural sexy ballistic motorscooter).

On this note, maybe I should also mention that: YYP is a Dee-acronym. It stands for "Yes, your point?" and is used whenever someone is stating the bleeding obvious. Like: "You're being sarcastic." and "That's mean". Use it three times in a chat room today!

6:31 PM - link to this - (0) comments

Now this, I absolutely don't sodding believe. Someone thinks Zannah jumped on their bandwagon? The idea is so laughable I'm actually concerned they might be serious. I am surrounded by morons.

6:23 PM - link to this - (0) comments

Ry: You know, the Israelis have a special dispensation to have armed guards outside the gates.
Rb: What, like roaming the streets?
Ry: But they're only female guards, you know.
Rb: Oh well, they'd probably miss or something.
U: They only miss if they're wearing white plastic.

6:14 PM - link to this - (0) comments

Back towards the beginning of the year Y, a friend of mine, broke up with his girlfriend of two years. Or rather, she broke up with him. He was inconsolable, ranting, raving... but since then he's met a new girl. And he's turned into a bouncing ball of giggles over her. It's so incredibly cute. Y is thirty, you see, (and I quote): "I thought I knew everything there was to know about women, and then she comes along and all of a sudden I don't have a clue; I'm jittery, I'm nervous... it's fantastic!" He is so happy... it's simply so endearing. I can't help envying the girl.

5:28 PM - link to this - (0) comments

This sort of response is why people suck (the two above it as well). Comments so unbelievably stupid, personally hurtful and shallow just make my jaw drop. I thought people were more intelligent than that. But of course, every time I think things like that, someone comes along and disappoints me. (Because, of course, a review from Claudia Schiffer would be so much better.)

On her personal site (the one that was reviewed), the girl doing the whinging has another few whinges. She pulled out the old line: "I'm doing this for me." This, of course, triggers one of my pet hates. Why, if you're doing it for you and you alone, have you put it on the internet and subjected the rest of the world to it? Keep it on your own computer and stop clogging up bandwidth if you don't care so much. And why, if it's for you alone, have you submitted it for review? Seems like a touch of hypocrisy to me. (PS: If you care so much about your design, go to one of those review centres that give 50 points consideration to design, and 10 points consideration to content. We don't.)

I need my tolerance back. Big time. But until then, I have to go with J2 on this one: "I hate people."

8:11 AM - link to this - (0) comments

Wednesday, August 09, 2000

All of a sudden my tolerance for people's stupidity seems to have disappeared. And when I need it most as well.

7:06 PM - link to this - (0) comments

The ducks are going around in pairs, in isolated duets. Cars are playing dodge games because they're getting territorial (the ducks, not the cars) and hence can't feed within five metres of each other without sparking gang warfare. This time of year always reminds me of something A told me about in my first year. About how he'd been riding home and he'd passed a dead duck lying in the gutter, obviously having had a fatal encounter with a car. On the kerb above sat another duck, honking plaintively, morosely.

6:41 PM - link to this - (0) comments

Random Rammstein quoting...
"Wollt ihr das Bett in Flammen sehen
wollt ihr in Haut und Haaren untergehen
ihr wollt doch auch den Dolch ins Laken stecken
ihr wollt doch auch das Blut vom Degen lecken."

5:30 PM - link to this - (0) comments

Morons. I am surrounded by morons.

I am talking specifically about those so vapid they can only talk about design. When questioned, they will undoubtedly assert than content is far more important than design, but they don't back this up with anything else they say. They further add to the hypocrisy they practice by then bitching excessively about those who are so vapid because they only care about design. They are indistinguishable from the former by anything except a larger vocabulary, their superiority complexes, and the fact they should know better.

I am, of course, making gross generalisations, but that's my prerogative. So nyer.

5:26 PM - link to this - (0) comments

I am injuring myself left, right and centre. I fell over the opposing Centre last night, giving my knee a right ding which has now turned into a beautiful bruise (not a beautiful swan, as one might expect). And this afternoon I meandered into the walls (brick) and scraped my knuckles. I look like I've been in a fight. You should see the other guy.

In a more gastro-intestinal sense of looking after myself - as that which I promised A I would do - I'm going OK. I had lunch. Aren't I good?

5:13 PM - link to this - (0) comments

I told A I'd look after myself. It really is a warm fuzzy that he cares enough to bestow a half-hour lecture on the topic upon me. However, it's all much easier said than done. Eat more, he said, but the dinner at this establishment is not the sort of thing that lends itself to being eaten in excessive quantities. Eat lunch, he said, but that costs money and I'm loath to spend on something I don't feel I need anyway. Sleep in, he said, but I have classes every day at ten. Rush your preparation, he said, but I infinitely prefer leisure, especially at that time of the morning.

I've been tired for the past five years, as far as I can remember. There was one day in grade eleven when I stayed home and slept all day because I was minorly diseased. After that and a decent night's sleep, I felt well-rested. It was the first time in at least two years I can remember not feeling tired. The next day, of course, I was back to normal.

My mother immediately declares this sort of extended fatigue is anaemia, but I've been giving blood for two years now and haven't been registered as anaemic at all. Nevertheless, I'm on the iron supplements at the moment. I just hope they work, because otherwise there are other unpleasant possibilities. Like chronic fatigue, but worse, like Coeliac disease, which my mother has. I'm not sure which is the worst part about that possibility - the colonoscopy that is required to make a definite diagnosis or the fact you can't eat pasta (or anything else containing glutin) if you do have it.

I think I'd prefer to just have another nap.

7:32 AM - link to this - (0) comments

Eeep... I wasn't doing anything other than typing and my computer suddenly rebooted all on its own. That's even more possessed than usual. My most sincere, humble and public apologies to Abraham Lincoln for anything I might have done to incur your wrath.

7:22 AM - link to this - (0) comments

Tuesday, August 08, 2000

Most overused word in the teen domain scene: misanthropic ~ one who hates mankind; hating mankind.

(One of the) Most underused words in the teen domain scene: naif ~ 1: a horny sheath protecting the end of each finger and toe in man and related primates 2: a slender pointed fastener with a head designed to be pounded in

Damn I love my dictionary. In a totally non-sexual way, of course.

10:28 PM - link to this - (0) comments

All hail Mandy, we love Mandy.

Our dearly departed Pennsylvanian exchange student (well, the female one anyway) sent us a parcel today. We were highly impressed, especially since the postage alone came to $82. Inside, we found all sorts of goodies. Hersheys stuff galore (Kisses and Hugs and Peanutbutter things). Plus chocolate sauce, Graham crackers, marshmallows, something called "Aussie Mega" shampoo and conditioner (made in Connecticut) and water pistols!!!

Well, they're called "water squirters" now, because, you know, guns are bad. PC or non, there were four of the things, which were immediately seized by J1, J2, Krl and myself. Which explains why I'm now typing in soggy pyjamas. You should see the other guys, though. I got J1 right between the eyes from across the room. Am I good or am I good?

10:02 PM - link to this - (0) comments

So gbook.nu seems to have gone bang. Let's try a replacement instead, yes? I liked my gbook.nu one, though, so let's hope it returns.

Oh, PS: If you have any problems with it, naturally please let me know. I installed it a bit quickly and I think I've ironed it all out, but I could be wrong. It has been known to happen. From time to time. (1 point).

PPS: It appears gbook.nu is coming back up... slowly. At least they have an error page up now. I won't be waiting with bated breath, I'll tell you that much...

9:41 PM - link to this - (0) comments

For those with an irreverant streak as wide as mine: The Blasphemy Homepage. Although the hatemail section is highly unimpressive. The Wedding at Cana was mildly amusing, considering my recent foray into this sort of area.

With that foray in mind, I think a new project shall be spawned at viscerate.com. Not, as is so frequently the case, a ring, or clique, or even a zine. Well, maybe a sort-of zine. But at the very least a repository (no, J2, not a suppository) of Diabolical (in the Eco sense of the word) wisdom. Cabalistic, mystical, Templar nonsense. Because damn, this stuff is FUN!

5:14 PM - link to this - (0) comments

"If you believe you should be able to view this directory or page, please try to contact the Web site by using any e-mail address or phone number that may be listed on the 'whatever.com' home page."

So Bill Gates wants me to stalk the owner of whatever domain I'm looking for?

Use any email address or phone number now! Don't be shy!

7:13 AM - link to this - (0) comments

Monday, August 07, 2000

You know, I'd almost forgotten about Diana jokes. No one's made one in ages...

10:10 PM - link to this - (0) comments

Life imitates art, and I am being sucked into the mysterious and cabalistic world of Foucault's Pendulum, just as the narrator is. I am entranced by suggestions such that Jesus may, in fact, have been married to Mary Magdalene, and the Holy Grail is nothing other than her womb, carrying the son of the Messiah. In fact, there is a school of thought that believes the wedding at Cana (where Jesus turned the water into wine) was actually that of Jesus himself. There are various reasons for this, but I think I might turn this into a mini-essay and put it up on the site somewhere. The world of mysteries is immense and all-encompassing.

And remember: The Templars have something to do with everything.

9:43 PM - link to this - (0) comments

Anyone telling me that Netscape is better than Internet Explorer will be hit upside the head with a big fish.

I have just spent two hours wrestling with the infernal thing. The university computer labs use Netscape, and hence all pages designed for the university must work in this browser. For some reason the DHTML menu system I am using is going kinky. It loads perfectly if the page is linked to. However, if you hit refresh or load the page straight, it's stuffed.

%^@$!!!

(Of course, it works perfectly in IE. Bah!)

5:28 PM - link to this - (0) comments

Sunday, August 06, 2000

A: Come over and visit.
Me: As long as I can bring my German.
A: I don't think the critters will mind.
Je: Your German? Oh, you mean the language.
Me: No, I have Hitler in my pocket.
Ky: How did you shrink him?
Me: He was always that small, they just used clever camera angles to make him appear normal size.
Je: And platform boots.

5:22 PM - link to this - (0) comments

Amazing... stuff at meat-girl.com.

5:04 PM - link to this - (0) comments