dee - viscerate.com

GIRL
Diana Evans
called Dee
since May 25th, 1980
terrorising inner-city Melbourne
consuming flat whites
producing words, hers and other people's
contact dee [at] viscerate [dot] com

SITE
viscerate.com
consisting of personal reflections
photography by Amy Q
archives here

Saturday, July 22, 2000

Dr M says the computer generation has a short attention span. Then Atley says he's "fazy". There is no such thing as a coincidence in Dee-land. Has our live-quick society delegated us to a life of fast thrills soon fading? Do we not have the mental equipment to dedicate ourselves for the long haul? Are we, so to speak, burning the candle at both ends, creating twice the light but for half the time? I suffer from it myself, leaping onto a project with the burning fervour of a true fanatic, but soon becoming bored, seeing greener grass, letting things slide. Atley calls it being fazy. Dr M calls it a product of our generation. I call it a character flaw that is becoming predominant in society.

11:47 PM - link to this - (0) comments

So this is weird: Both of these sites are in my referral logs. I could figure out one (since it's the homepage of a ring I below to), but not the other one. So I visit. I double-take. You will too. #1: http://www.pretention.net/elite/ and #2: http://cyberviolet.com/seksay/. Spot the difference?

Update: Now cyberviolet.com doesn't appear to exist any more. The bizarrity deepens. I feel like I've dropped through some sort of virtual looking-glass. Follow that rabbit!

7:00 PM - link to this - (0) comments

Mundane changes for a mundane world:
  • Retro Hippy has finally received its due recognition instead of being hidden behind "Gallia". All hail Lizz.
  • While boylog/girlog continues to be an interesting delve into the gendered psyche, I'm afraid my interest seems to have drifted away from Bionicomm. Told you I was fickle.
  • I have discovered a new love (the owner of which will get a return email from me one of these days) in evade.net.

5:26 PM - link to this - (0) comments

Thursday, July 20, 2000

I just love this. Crosswords I can do online! Now if they were only decent crosswords, not requiring an encyclopedic knowledge of American television (which surprisingly, I don't have) I'd be a very happy little moppet indeed...

8:19 PM - link to this - (0) comments

Intent to produce intelligent thought: high.

Ability to produce aforementioned intelligent thought: low.

Hypothesised reasons:
Brain-drain from actually making an effort and scraping together all those snippets of HTML into a major site update (oh yeah, the personalised section has a new design too) means that I'm completely out of thoughts, intelligent or otherwise.
The fact that I finished my most recent problem with regards to the amorphous novel entity means that my brain has declared a half-holiday in celebration and hasn't left a forwarding address.
I'm just far too lazy and getting more so.

7:17 PM - link to this - (0) comments

thecounter.com has pissed me around enough. Time to try out something else. Say hello to Mr Newcounter. He's from sitemeter.com. You all make him feel welcome now.

7:01 PM - link to this - (0) comments

The rules of drunken pub chess (courtesy of J2):
  1. If you can take a piece, you should.
  2. If you can make a move, do it.
  3. If you can put the opposition in check, you must.
  4. Testosterone and macho-bullshit is a prerequisite.
  5. Thou shalt not care.

6:39 PM - link to this - (0) comments

Fresh off the viscerate press: a new section called visibleEGO, dedicated to expression, in various forms.

PS: The Lost mail archive has been trashed since I don't have time to keep it up. Sorry.

5:29 PM - link to this - (0) comments

I know exactly what you mean there, Lizz. I can quite easily put my finger on the precise causes of my cockroach phobia. It has to do with growing up in Queensland, where the cockroachs grow big and dark. It has to do with waking up in the middle of the night with one running over your face. It has to do with sitting at the breakfast table at college (in a city in which you think you are safe from the horrible beasties) and having one crawl up between the tables barely an inch from your hand.

You have never seen anyone move so fast.

So my phobia is heavily cemented into my personality. I can't even get close enough to them to kill them. Just thinking about them gives me the shivers. Bleurgh!!

1:45 PM - link to this - (0) comments

Is this just going a little bit too far? Sometimes, even I can't do anything more than shake my head in some sort of wondrous half-denial.

9:31 AM - link to this - (0) comments

Thought for the day: Gin and tonic underneath UV lights looks like a mystic potion designed to render the imbiber young and beautiful.

12:58 AM - link to this - (0) comments

Wednesday, July 19, 2000

I don't like stereotyping. In fact, I hate it. Not just witnessing it, but doing it. I exult when someone shatters all the preconceived notions about how they must appear or behave. A find it a moment of smug satisfaction, like I'm witnessing everything that's unpleasant being thwarted.

Today I finally had a class with a person I have observed for nigh on a year and a half now. She has a certain image, and consequently, her behaviour from no acquaintance could be pigeon-holed in a certain way. Stridently feminist, she is probably anti-traditional-domination in other ways as well, like anti-Western-superiority and so forth. She would probably read cyberpunk, possibly even role-play it. She would state her views loudly, firmly and probably take provocative bait if it was waved in front of her.

I had high hopes of seeing these standardised conceptions shattered. I (metaphorically) rubbed my hands together in gleeful anticipation. The reality was annoying and depressing. She was all those things. In spades. I feel small, bitter and twisted, and I don't really understand why. I just know that when people (in my mind, at least) simply sit on the behavioural laurels of stereotypes, it makes me quite angry.

7:47 PM - link to this - (0) comments

Born of a typo, cold fingers and a tired mind, I wonder if there is a riotherpes.com...

Funnily enough, there isn't.

Don't you just want a url like http://quickriotherpes.com? Go on, you know you do.

6:45 PM - link to this - (0) comments

Note: The entry below is dedicated to Dr M, sometime personal guru and hopefully future supervisor, who believes that the computer generation cannot understand subtle irony. You can decide whether I'm proving or disproving his theory.

6:22 PM - link to this - (0) comments

Listen, you horrible little man, I am better than you. I am taller, stronger and prettier. Your face resembles the misformed hindquarters of a small yapping dog. Your so-called friends pity you and your dog likes you only for the food you provide. The oxygen you breathe cringes from touching your lungs and your blood is sluggish with its apathy regarding keeping you alive. Your clothes fasten with velcro because buttons are beyond your capability. You smell. Your mother smells. In fact, every member of your extended family including second cousins smells. You cause racism and third-world conflict. You sank the Titanic and crashed the Hindenburg. You were Adolf Hitler, Attila the Hun and Hannibal Lecter in your past lives. And what's more: you make spelling mistakes.

What inspires people to spew forth such tirades of vitriol? On the
visage.cx boards Zoe told us all about some hateful messages she'd seen directed at those of a gothic persuasion, and the details of an email conversation she'd entered into with the attacker. It was an example of such blind, unreasoning and spiteful hatred that it literally took my breath away. There was no style, no finesse in these attacks, merely red-in-the-face-from-screaming effort and strings of furious expletives. I imagine someone with such a roiling centre of pure hate that it consumes them, and I wonder how these people can ever function in normal society, and I am saddened because I realise they can probably fit in (on a fickle level at least) than the so-called "freaks" they are waxing vitriolic about.

6:08 PM - link to this - (0) comments

I am a rodent of the drowned variety. It is raining out there. It rained all over me in a highly democratic fashion. It rained all over J2 as well, who gleefully told me (after assuring me that he was still a lesbian, but that he wasn't as big (or fat) a lesbian as my brother) that he had to change all his clothes down to and including his underwear after getting drenched riding home.

There is no point to this. Aren't you glad I told you, though?

12:49 PM - link to this - (0) comments

Monday, July 17, 2000

Just added: Google search box. I search with Google, you should to. And if you do, please consider doing it from my site, because it may earn me money occasionally. And more money for me equals more carp for you. :-)

10:03 PM - link to this - (0) comments

Today I went through the entire agony and ecstasy of writing. The day I decide to resume my writing, as something that has been longingly gazed at, coveted almost, for months now.

I sat down in front of Thomas Jefferson, the trusty (rusty) typewriter, and began to ponder in print. What is my main problem with the amorphous novel-entity at present? I brain-stormed as fast as two fingers could type (coming from a computer age I find it impossible to touch-type on old, old typewriters. You try it sometime). I racked my brain, I dredged the depths of my consciousness.

I could not find the answer to my problem. Riddled with self-righteous and suitably bosom-heaving angst, I paced to the window, stared disconsolately from it. It was all too difficult, I declared in the depths of my soul. I would never find the answer. I would never manage it. I would never ever ever in a million years see my name in gold leaf on a cover.

Yet I turned back to the stiff and unwieldy instrument. I tapped a few more letters. I thought a little. I engaged in conversations with half my brain while the other half gnawed away like a rabid hyena. I itched to leave polite society for the close corner containing my brain on paper.

It's like a drug, writing. It's habit-forming. And I'm hooked once again.

9:38 PM - link to this - (0) comments

Thought for the day: What is it about wearing leather pants that simply requires you to strut?

9:29 PM - link to this - (0) comments

Star of the East, give us kingly birth;
Star of the South, give us great love;
Star of the West, give us quiet age;
Star of the North, give us death.
Gaelic prayer

I find it interesting that there is no adjective, no modifer for death. Such a simple poem, this, with such intricacies built into its four easy lines that it instantly found a place in my poetry notebook. And yet it continues to amaze me how people dismiss it when they read through, skimming over this tiny poem and moving onwards to the longer and therefore naturally more eloquent pieces.

6:14 PM - link to this - (0) comments

Emily says nice things about me and that gives me a warm fuzzy. :-) What's more, it's not just gratuitous nice comments. Sometimes I feel that people are just saying nice things... well, because they think it's nice. By considering and quoting and commenting on specific parts of my site, Emily lets me know that she's read it all, and really thought about it. And that is worth far far more than any nice comments. I don't need people to say that my site's good. I just need them to have read it and thought about it.

Thank you Emily for doing the above and still having nice things to say about the site. And I'm glad that she thought the hosting offer sounded tempting. I was hoping it would be to the right sort of people, and not tempting at all to the wrong sort. :-) That said, there's a place at viscerate.com for Emily any time she wants it. LOL.

5:46 PM - link to this - (0) comments

Welcome to Bush Week, ladies and gentlemen, kind of like Orientation Week revisited, except everyone knows each other now, and we still have to go to lectures. Centre-stage feature of this event at college: Murder.

For those (un)fortunate enough never to have experienced this amusing pursuit, it goes a little something like this: You get a slip of paper with the floor, year, degree and eye colour of your victim. In order to 'kill' them, you have to get them alone (without any other college residents) and say, "You're dead". You can't kill someone through glass or in the toilet. And, of course, while you're trying to get someone alone, someone else is trying to get you alone.

It all makes for the most amusing behavioural gymnastics, manic chases, and elaborate stake-outs. I don't play any more, just sit back, watch and stoke other people's paranoia. Oh, and act as official bodyguard for those who don't trust their friends any more. Oh yes, paranoia is alive and well and living in Burgmann College.

5:32 PM - link to this - (0) comments

The silence is deafening. :-) Nothing yesterday because the unpleasantly fascist ANU connection went down in a whimpering heap, denying me access to all incoming email and requiring serious first aid before even letting me into university websites. So I managed to get some sleep (still not enough, unfortunately), and catch up on my vegetation. Now, back to the blogging.

5:21 PM - link to this - (0) comments